Mumbai - Not quite Mumbaiya : Part III

The Mumbai sojourn was more of a nightmare for me after that. The next day, I gave in to my friend's request of checking out of the comfy hotel to check out Mumbai. So we decided to check out Band Stand for the sole reason that we had heard of that place the most number of times (not that we had some list with that kind of ordering done !!). Needless to say both of us were drenched (no it was not raining, in our own sweat) by the time we reached there. We decided to lay around in the Barista Coffee Shop and enjoy the scenic beauty. Within two minutes of us sitting there, we realized that this could not go on forever. We needed that wonderful invention called the "Air Conditioner" created solely for the down-trodden people (read pigs) like us. After some time pass and some coffee and snacks till my shirt dried off all the sweat we decided to give the Mumbai roads another shot.

So off we went and this time back to Chembur to attend that solemn engagement. All of a sudden we realized that this was supposed to be a ceremony for the civilized and not for some fauna like us. So we decided to camouflage into human beings and got ourselves some clothes (and that gentleman of a shop-owner even ironed those clothes for us). After all the camouflaging (and bathing in the Deodorant exercise) we finally ended up at the place where we ought to be. Thankfully the guys had booked an AC hall. While inside, we enjoyed ourselves watching those two close friends get engaged to each other and noticing their insurmountable smiles and happiness. All of a sudden it was time to leave and I prayed to God that the conditions outside might have improved.

Point # 2 to remember about Mumbai. If you sweat in Mumbai, the conditions never get better. They just go from bad to worse as the day progresses. So we decided to run again to save ourselves. We inquired about some place where we could have some cooling down (read Beers). To my surprise, we were greeted with a scorn that is hard to forget and the lines "YOU WANT TO DRINK NOW ??" Drinking before nightfall in Mumbai is apparently a crime. After much persuasion, we did get some leads to a million places in Mumbai where we could chill out, but no one seemed to know of one particular name of a pub (or they might have been deliberately keeping the name from us). Maybe it's taboo to talk about the pub you visit in Mumbai. We decided to go to our final destination in Mumbai which was to be the VT station. We heard that en-route we would definitely find "SOMETHING". Well, we searched hard to find that mysterious something but could not. Suddenly out of the blue I saw a sign saying "BUDWIESER" and my eyes lit up and the taxi came to a screeching halt since it was time to re-hydrate ourselves. We barged into that posh restaurant thingie and asked for Beer....Chilled please. We were greeted with another condescending scorn (I thought to myself maybe all Mumbaikars suffer from the same disease) and the manager blurted out "WE DONT SERVER LIQUOR HERE !!" reminding me of that female's statement a few hours ago.

Without giving a darn I ordered a Lime Juice. I thought, what the heck, that place had a nice AC and a good television. We might as well soak it up for sometime. After sometime when the manager started giving us looks (the ones saying, get the hell out of here) we decided it was time we went ahead, ready to commit the CRIME (of drinking) in broad daylight. We went to the only pub in Mumbai called "THE PUB". There must have been a long thought process that would ve gone into naming that pub as "THE PUB". But I have never seen a more fitting name for any place anywhere. It was actually the only pub in approximately a 15 km radius. We had some drinks there, dried our shirts, chilled our spirits and promised ourselves one final shot at getting out of this living nightmare.

Out we went to the Cafe Coffee Day right below the pub to get rid of the high with some strong Cappuccino. All this while we were roaming around the VT station not even knowing if VT was the same as CST (which was mentioned on our tickets). At the end of it all and a little more inconsequential hurdles we reached the station and dumped ourselves into our respective berths. The next thing I remember was getting up in Hyderabad. Babies dont sleep that well. Only God knows how I praised myself in my dreams for booking a 2AC ticket.

Finally, after all the non-sensical talk I would like to get down to the point. Mumbai might definitely be a city of dreams. It might definitely be a city full of energy and zest. It might be the fashion and economic capital of India. It might be the place where the richest of rich and the poorest of poor can co-exist in harmony. It might be the place where Dabbawalas operate with Sigma-6 accuracy. It might be the place where there is no dearth of human spirit. It might be a place where life runs in the top gear.

BUT that place still lacks one thing. It lacks that X-factor that makes a visitor feel welcomed to a place. It's something like, if you want to visit Mumbai, you'd better behave like a Mumbaikar and follow all the regulations that a true-blue Mumbaikar would in his day-to-day life follow. You have to run when everyone else runs. You have to eat, sleep, get up, talk and even drink when everyone else does. It makes you feel like you are not wanted in this place if you cant be one of them. That repulsive feeling is hard to get over. If you are the "I live my life....How I live my life" kind of person, then my best guess would be that Mumbai is not the place for you.

My next destination is Chennai. Though from what I've seen of it while passing by that city in a train, I am not too excited. But then, guess what. The two friends of mine (who got engaged in Mumbai) are getting married this January in Chennai. So all the patrons of this blog would have to wait until then for me to update the blog about Chennai. My dream is finally gonna come true!!

Note : I haven't stopped cursing my friend for checking-out of that hotel in Chembur that day ever since.